Unseen. Unsafe. Unloved.
GIVING YOU THE REAL TEA ON COMING OUT.
You Feel Alone.
You feel like no one sees you - the real you.
You feel like a misfit and an outsider.
You feel unsafe, bullied and shamed.
You feel unloved and unworthy.
And you’ve said to yourself too often -
FUCK THIS, it would be easier if I wasn’t here.
I say … FUCK THAT. This path isn’t easy, but keep going!
you are stronger, smarter, more compassionate + deserving of love just by walking this path in the first place.
It’s not easy, but life’s challenges tell us who we are. And I already know YOU ... the fabulous, amazing, brilliant, unique and daring human being you are. You just can’t see it right now. No one can when they’re in the midst of these awful growing pains.
And they ARE growing pains. You are learning who you are right now. Challenge is how we all learn. And you have more challenges than most because you are on a different path. One that requires you to truly know who you are faster and more clearly than other people. You don’t get a long, slow stroll down a country path. No, you have to go zero to sixty in 3 seconds flat to get as far ahead as you can. There’s no time to waste. Your learning curve is that fast and that necessary.
The most judgmental people are also the most insecure. They group together, like sheep, for safety. They try to displace their fear on anyone they perceive as weaker (meaning less safe) than themselves. That’s why they’ve placed a target on your back. They want to make you feel “other” to protect themselves. They don’t have the courage to face their own truth. They’ve made a huge mistake though. They don’t know who you really are. They don’t know your difference is your superpower and that you will use it to stand out even more … because that is success.
IT’S TIME TO SPILL SOME TEA + IT’S PIPING HOT!
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Trust me. I know you because I am you. I’ve been exactly where you are right now and I can help you navigate through this crazy shit storm and come out the other side with the clarity, courage and confidence to own your beautiful life.
When I was younger, I remember always being different; no interest in sports, a little effeminate, “husky.” I remember being teased for being different, feeling unloved and eating away the pain. Life would be easier if it ended and no one would miss me if I was gone. Back then, the only place I felt safe was at home, eating in front of the TV. School was unsafe. There were bullies I couldn’t hide from. Every day, they called me a faggot, a queer, “Gavid Gaybramson.”
I felt unlovable and alone.
Eventually I met someone ”like me.” It wasn't love, but it allowed me to experience some life, to understand and appreciate differences and to learn I was not the only one. I soon started to share my true self in small steps. First, with people at a distance (a friend in New York). Then, a person a little closer (a friend from high school). There was always this lingering fear of rejection, humiliation and finding out I was not really good enough to love.
And then there was a group of new friends. Hmmm… maybe being my true self created things I need and want. And then … my sister. She didn’t care that I was gay. She only cared that the “someone” who had this shared experience was her best guy friend.
AND THEN THE “BIG ONE” … MY MOM.
She sat me down and said:
I know you’re gay and I love you.
That night we talked for hours. No rejection, only love. (and odd questions about sex and hershey squirts but that’s a whole different story you and I will get into later).
Then Miami for college. For the first time I was truly open with myself. I had friends, a social life and was finally beginning to know my true value.
I was seen for who I am. I am safe to be who I am. I love who I am.
And this incredible journey all started with me at my lowest point, deciding to reject all of my inner (and outer) critics and create connection on my own terms. All those small steps add up. They are each learning points along the way that revealed myself to ME, while also sharing my courage, uniqueness, nerve and talent. I would go through that crazy shit storm of my own all over again to get here, to this place, this ME.
